We’re Talking Free Throws

We’re talking free throws. Last night. This morning. Anyone who watched last nights Sixers and Wizards game is talking free throws. The only thing more basic to discuss regarding basketball might be lay-ups, but here we are talking free throws.

The Wizards cut a 14 point deficit to 3 points in the fourth quarter by sending Ben Simmons to the foul line in 11 straight possessions. Simmons shot 15 for 29 from the line.

I was in the building. People were screaming for Brett Brown to get him out of the game until the 2:00 minute mark. Take Ben out for who? TJ McConnell was out with a shoulder injury. Jerryd Bayless?

I’m not too sure Bayless out there with Reddick and Covington, who were a combined 8-24 from the field, would’ve been any better.

The brutal, nearly unwatchable fourth quarter was not the fault of Brett Brown or Scott Brooks. It’s the fault of Ben Simmons.

I love Ben Simmons. If I was buying a new Sixers jersey other than Andrew Toney, it would be Ben Simmons’. He’s a generational talent that should keep the 76ers competitive for the next decade and longer. He seems like a great kid, however he can’t shoot free throws.

Free throws do not take any special physical gifts and they are often the difference in many meaningful games. The only thing they do take is practice. Ben Simmons needs to be increasing his efforts in bettering his free throw percentage or Sixers fans are going to see the Hack-a-Simmons strategy far more than they’d like.

Brett Brown did the right thing by leaving Simmons in there. Hopefully, it was a learning experience and growth moment for Ben. He seems to live at the practice facility, which is a great thing. Maybe last night is the moment Simmons needed to make sure he jams as many free throws in as possible while he’s training in Camden.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it is partially Brett Brown and the Sixers’ coaching staff’s fault that we’re talking free throws, but not because they left Simmons on the court. No, that was the right thing to do. If Brown and the Sixers hold any culpability in this it’s because they had at least six months of a healthy Ben to help the kid improve his shooting.

Lost in all of this free throw talk is that the Sixers won. It wasn’t pretty, but they won. They survived the Hack-a-Simmons. Let’s hope Ben, Brett and the Sixers’ coaching staff get this free throw/shooting issue fixed before the Playoffs. That shouldn’t be too difficult, especially with shot doctor Herb Magee in such close proximity. And….underhand Barry style is always an option.

But yeah, we’re talking free throws.

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Around Jawnville: City Hall 2017 Christmas Village

The 2017 Christmas Village is up at City Hall and it’s worth checking out. If you’re in the area and have kids ya gotta make a visit to Village. There’s no need to venture to NYC when Philly is doing right like this. Dilworth Plaza is filled with shops, drinks, food, ice skating, and Holiday Cheer.

We’ve got a carousel.

The outdoor ice skating in front of City Hall is gorgeous and a perfect activity to tire out the kids if the weather cooperates.

We have a beautiful tree.

If you’re lucky enough, you might run into a Santa who will take a picture with you for a donation. The lines are much shorter than photos with Santa at the mall and a $5 donation is way cheaper.

Philly is crushing it with our food and beverage scene. The Christmas/Winter Village at Dillworth is equally good. Get there and enjoy this jawn while it’s here.  You won’t be sorry, unless you drive and try to park. Luckily, every train pretty much gets you to City Hall.

Happy Holidays.



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Around Jawnville: Get Keen To This New Place

We’ve got a solid new place in Philly folks and it’s called Keen. Remember the quirky, eccentric Astral Plane that used to reside at 1708 Lombard Street in the Rittenhouse area? Probably not. It’s been a while. Anyway, Keen has opened in the same building and you need to get keen to it, like now.

Keen is brainchild of the Chris and Caitlin Rorer. They completely renovated the building and it looks fantastic. It’s got a warm and comfortable, yet fresh feel throughout the building with exquisite reclaimed woodwork throughout.

There’s even a functioning dumbwaiter!

The first floor has a small bar and a dining room. Upstairs is a second bar and a lounge area. I’ll be honest. I didn’t eat here, but I’ve heard great things about the food–especially the Pretzels and Riceballs. The Pig Candy sounds ridiculous if you eat bacon. Here’s the menu.

What I did do here is drink, on multiple occasions. I’ll be honest with you here too. I had some great drinks and a fun time during each visit.

Tom Danks from the Artful Dodger, Morton’s Steakhouse and Southwark is running the bar so you know it’s going to be spot on. He’s got a decent beer selection for every taste, but his cocktails are sick! The wouldn’t be any other way from someone with Southwark, the OG of cocktail bars, experience running the ship.

I had the Autumn Mule, Cognac Harvest, Double Revolver, and Barrel Gin Sazerac. All were top-notch, but my favorite may have been the Autumn Mule, served in a copper mule mug and mixed with cranberry, mint, and Philadelphia Brewing Company’s Commonwealth Ginger Cider. The cider is a real nice touch.

I also had my first wheat whiskey and it did not disappoint. The entire bar staff are veterans of the Philly scene. You’ll no doubt enjoy yourself even if you’re sitting there by yourself. The bar also has a comfortable Chicago rail. They should be mandatory in all bars.

I love the second level of this place for cocktails. You can sit at the bar with your buddies and drink great cocktails while watching the Flyers and Sixers at the same time as they have three TV’s behind the bar. And, the spot also works for a date night spot with your special someone. I did both and have an equally enjoyable time both nights. This isn’t a sports bar so you won’t get any volume, but the music selections provided a nice background soundtrack. Think hotel cocktail bar where the music is kind of cool, but at a volume where you can still easily converse.

The lounge room is my favorite. There’s a couch, a few intimate tables, and a couple of leather chairs to chill in. There’s also a large screen TV in this room. I lounged out and watched the Sixers here the other night.

Look how comfortable I look, even after a missed Embiid free throw.

Alone, as usual, and I’m still happy because I’m so damn cozy full of good spirits. That’s either a Dock Street Rye or a Kenzinger in my hand. I can’t remember.  

This room rocks. The only complaint I would have is my usual: dim the lights a bit. It would be even cozier and I might never leave. It’s probably better if they left the lights they way they are. I can’t afford Rittenhouse rent.

Did I mention they have games?

They also do $5 city-wides. Oh, and they have free Keen condoms in the bathroom just in case, you know.

Keen is open. Get there. Maybe I’ll see ya there.

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Jawnville Podcast Episode 23

The Jawnville Podcast Episode 23 is here just in time for distract you from Holiday shopping frustration with some insights, news, and laughs.

As usual, we sit at O’Neal’s pub, drink copious amounts of alcohol and share our drunken wisdom, tips, insight and personal revelations.

This episode includes discussion of:

-The Porn Police 2:46
-Skipping out on Bar Tabs 3:58
-Breaking into Homes So You Don’t Have to Drink Alone 6:05
-Is the new bar with slides and a ball-pit for adults a germpool waiting to happen 7:50
-Bartender Bill and some drunk dude from Alabama 9:50
-Drinking before a doctor’s appointment and guys going to an OB/GYN 14:40
-Gut reactions to the top 24 bars of Philly Mag’s 2017 Best Bar list 16:38
-Hoods, Helmets, and Smegma: To Get Your Child Circumcised or Not? 31:20
-We make Nicole’s mom up to weigh in on the circumcision discussion. 40:24
-30 days of no drinking and getting high for the first time 46:20

Thanks to O’neals Pub (611 S. 3rd Street) for being our host and Black Landlord for the music.

As always, thanks to you for listening and sharing and helping us generate the thousands of listens we been lucky enough to receive.

Tell your friends about this jawn…It’s COMMERCIAL FREE TOO!

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2017 Philly Sports Jersey Holiday Buying Guide

Cyber Monday is here. The Holiday buying season is among us. We’re here to help you make the most sensible and cost-effect jersey purchases for yourself or a loved one. You don’t want the jersey being outdated by next year. Those things are expensive. And, you don’t want your loved one being laughed at while attending a game because he’s wearing a Dom Brown jersey. Most importantly, if you’re new to the world of jersey buying as gift, never personalize the jersey. That’s a Violation.

Here are the rankings for jersey purchase this Holiday Season. The safest pick is #1 and they get riskier the further down the list you go.

via wikipedia

1.  CARSON WENTZ – Was there any doubt? This guy is putting up stats that rival Aaron Rogers and Tom Brady. He’s the future of the Eagles and is going nowhere for the next decade. Sure, you’re joining masses as Wentz is among the most popular jerseys in the country, but that’s fine. You can’t go wrong here. This is a jersey that will last a decade, unless the wearer puts on a ton of poundage.

via nba.com

2. BEN SIMMONS – This guy is a generational player in the likes of Oscar Robertson. He’s a double-double machine, who can get to the basket at will. He’s got a soft touch around the basket and court vision on par with Magic. He’s 21! He’s clearly the Rookie of the Year this year. Wait until this guy develops his jumper. He’ll be unstoppable, if he isn’t already. He should be in town for a decade or more.

via nbcsports

3. IVAN PROVOROV – The Flyers are a frustrating bunch to watch right now, but that won’t be for long. They have too much young talent in the pipeline. The best of the young talent is Ivan Provorov. He has the skills to be the best Flyers defenseman in recent memory. The Flyers are going to turn things around and Provorov will be a pivotal piece of that foundation. He’s good and he’s not going anywhere.

4.  JOEL EMBIID – This guy is unstoppable. He’s a grown ass man among boys when he’s on the court. He looks massive, Godzilla-ish. If his health wasn’t a question, he would clearly be #2 and maybe push Wentz for #1. Embiid should be a dominant force in this town and the NBA for a decade, but there are health concerns. A normal player with his injury history would be further down the list, but he’s too good. The risk reward is worth it here.

5. FLETCHER COX – You may have a little hesitation here because you remember those rumors of Chip Kelly offering Fletcher Cox and every draft pick in eternity for Mariota. Don’t worry. The only way Cox may have been traded for is to obtain a franchise quarterback. The Eagles have their franchise quarterback. He’s also got a contract that carries a massive cap hit until after the 2020 season, even if the Eagles release him. Cox is here to stay.

(AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

6. RHYS HOSKINS – Rhys is not Dom Brown. He’s not one season fluke. His numbers did drop as the season went on, but they had to. Rhys was putting up super-human stats. He’s a basher who is patient with good plate discipline. He walks a ton. Power-hitters aren’t growing on oak trees down at FDR Park in South Philly. This guy is a centerpiece in the Phillies rebuild. He’s under Phillies control until 2024.

(Photo by Mitchell Leff)

7. TIMMY JERNIGAN – A year ago, most Philly fans might be saying who? Jernigan has been a solid addition to a swarming Eagles defense. Actually, he’s been a best on the defensive line for the Eagles. He’s only 25 and recently signed a contract extension. Jernigan is also a substantial cap hit until after the 2020 season so chances that he’ll be released are slim. He’s an aggressive player that fits perfectly with the mentality of Philly sports fans.

via: nbcsports

8. NOLAN PATRICK – Nolan was the second player taken in last year’s NHL draft. He’s had a few injuries and hasn’t been a standout stud yet, but that will come. We’re not comfortable putting Giroux or Voracek on the list because we got a feeling one of them may not be here for the long haul. Nolan Patrick will be. He’s a talented two-way player who is only 19, can play physical, and is a true “table-setter.” A Patrick jersey is solid speculative investment. He may not pay huge dividends the rest of this year, but in a couple of years you’ll be glad you bought this one.

9. AARON NOLA – He’s not over-powering. He’s not larger than life, but he’s consistently sneaky good. He strikes people out averaging almost 10 strikeouts per 9 innings pitched. He pitches a ton of ground balls. He got a low walk rate. Nola only turns 25 next summer. The only thing he’s lacking is a blazing fastball, but his average fastball velocity is right there with the likes of Corey Kluber and Jake Arrieta. This guy is the current ace for the Phillies and isn’t going anywhere, unless it’s for Giancarlo Stanton. If that’s the case, you’re screwed and we apologize.

10. ROBERT COVINGTON – Roco. Big Shot Bob! You have to love Covington. He went undrafted from Tennessee State. Covington put his time in at the NBA Developmental League. He’s worked his ass off to become a legit NBA player with an elite 3pt shot and a defensive intensity that is rarely seen. He’s a true “lunch pail” guy that Philly fans rally behind. He also just signed a contract extension that keeps him in town through the 2021-22 season. Roco plays the game the right way and is a great jersey for a young player looking to model his game after a guy that worked his tail off to get where he is today.

This list isn’t foolproof. Injuries happen. Trades happen. We do think this is a practical ranking and will put you in the best position to maximize your jersey investment. Good luck and Happy Holidays!

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Thanksgiving 2017: 5 Reasons to Give Thanks for Chip Kelly

As news breaks that Chip Kelly is the new head coach at UCLA, let’s take this Thanksgiving Weekend 2017 to give thanks to Chip Kelly for helping to make the Eagles what they are today. Here’s five reasons to be thankful for Chip Kelly’s dysfunctional time here.

1. Thanks Chip Kelly for being an obnoxious tool with a gimmick offense. After suffering with Post Traumatic Chip Disorder, the Eagles organization went old school. They brought Doug Pederson, who is the antithesis of Kelly and is perfect for this Eagles team in this moment. They went from the bottom of the league in Time of Possession under Chip to 3rd in the NFL under Dougy. The Eagles had a knee-jerk reaction away from Chip, did a total 360 from the likes of Kelly to Doug, and I’m thankful for it.

2. Thanks Chip for sending Howie Roseman to the supply closet. Howie 1.0 was unlikable. He was smug and talked down to fans. 1.0 came off as he knew it all. Howie 2.0 is the total opposite. He’s far more personable and down to earth in interviews. He humble, likeable, dare I say funny at times? 2.0 brought in Joe Douglas to help out with the talent evaluating. Howie’s aggressiveness with Douglas in the office has paid off unlike the signings of Vince Young and Asomugha.

3. Thanks Chip for bringing Kiko Alonso and Byron Maxwell to Philly. Yup, they both sucked, but Howie 2.0 was able to trade both of those bums to Miami to get the 8th pick in the draft and flip that for Carson Wentz. The same Wentz that’s one of the Vegas favorites to win the NFL MVP this year.

4. Thanks Chip for NOT trading for Marcus Mariota. Wentz > Mariota. And, the Eagles got to keep half their roster.

5. Thanks Chip for trading for Sam Bradford. By having Bradford on the roster, Howie 2.0 was able to trade him to the Vikings for a 1st and 4th round pick. Howie 2.0 grabbed Derek Barnett and Jay Ajayi with those picks. #winning

From all of us here in Philly….Congratulations on the UCLA gig Chip Kelly! We’re glad you’re there and not here, but the Eagles couldn’t be where they are if we all didn’t spend some time together.

Give Thanks to Chip Kelly!


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Sixers In-Game Entertainment

Last night was a decent win by the Sixers over the Jazz. Ben Simmons continues to be a dominant force that gets to the rim any time he wants and finishes with a wonderfully soft touch. Just wait until he develops a shot and defenders don’t back off of him by 5 feet.

While the game are far more entertaining then recent years, the in-game intermission entertainment is bonkers. Every intermission is met with whacky contests like chair-sitting shooting contest, making layups, 3-pointers, and half-court shots for Chick Fil-A coupons, the Dunk Squad, various cams, and t-shirt tosses. The music is loud. The lights are crazy. It’s like wrestling meetings Running Man.

Here’s a glimpse of a couple of in-game entertainment activities.

Who doesn’t like a good Dance Cam? Sixers fans are not shy.

Then there’s the T-Shirt Tosses. It’s a sensory overload with music, people dancing and t-shirts shooting toward the crowd at a rapid pace out of t-shirt gun Howitzers.


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Doug Pederson Needs Some Shirts

Today is a glorious day in Eaglesville. The Eagles decimated the Cowboys in their own house 37-9! All is good.

All is good, except the NFL’s Coach of the Year Doug Pederson’s day-after shirt collection. He’s been rocking free swag from the American Century Championship celebrity golf tournament from this summer in Tahoe.

Either the football guru is in need of some new shirts or he’s super proud of his performance at the tournament. How’d he do? He tied with T.J. Oshie for 49th place on the leaderboard.

Steph Curry with a respectable 4th place finish. Mr. Curry is a man who likes his golf. Rumors are that he blew off practice the day before the recent Warriors win at Wells Fargo Center to get a round of golf in locally.

Back to Doug. Can we get him some Eagles swag for these pressers? The man is coaching the best team in the NFL. He made great adjustments at halftime against the Cowboys to embarrass them in the second half. He’s gotta start rockin’ some better shirts than free golf tourney swag.

Extend this man now….and toss in a couple Eagles golf shirts!


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Thank God for Jerry Jones

As I enjoy the two weeks leading up to the Sunday Night Football battle between our Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys, one thought came to mind: THANK GOD FOR JERRY JONES.

We all love to hate a good heel. Darth Vader. Joker. Vince McMahon. Chris Christie. Putin. Lavar Ball. Skip Bayless. They all hold a special place in our hearts that evokes passionate feelings of hate and loathing. God, we despise them and that makes cheering for their demise so damn enjoyable.

That’s why this guy is exactly what we need in the NFL.

Look at that face. Don’t you just hate it? The evil Cryptkeeper. To make him more vile, he hangs with other heels and shoves it in your face.

Imagine this Dallas Cowboys team without him. Imagine the Rooney Family owning the Cowboys. We’d be left to summons up hate for Dez, Dak, Zeke, and Jason Garrett.

Dez is what he is. He’s on the downside of his career and never reached the arrogance level of Michael Irvin, Deion, or T.O. He’s like a hateable Cowboy light.

Dak is the personality equivalent of spaghetti. You don’t love it like a good rigatoni or linguine, but you don’t hate it like a bland penne. He’s fine.

Zeke is a JO, but, unfortunately, if feels like there’s nothing super JO-ish about him in this current state of the NFL. If you’re gonna hate a team for one of their players allegedly committing crimes, you’re gonna hate half the NFL. And, he’s not playing this week. Hard to rile up the hate when dude isn’t even gonna be in the building.

Jason Garrett looks like a twelve-year-old. You can’t be hating on kids. They don’t know what they’re doing and neither does he. He usually just rides the coattails of a solid defensive coordinator.

That brings us to Jerruh. He’s the creepy used-car salesman you can’t shake. He boldly obnoxious. He had to have the largest in-stadium video display screen in the world. He’s an egomaniac who instilled himself as the teams General Manger. He had to have the NFL draft in Dallas, even though Philly was the greatest Draft event in NFL history. He supported Roger Goodell, while he viciously went after Tom Brady and the Patriots over a slightly deflated football, but threatens Goodell’s compensation and job when he suspends Zeke Elliott for allegedly assaulting a woman.

Total douche.

When you sit down with your friends on Sunday night to watch the game, take a moment and give thanks. Thank the football gods or whatever god you believe in for putting the vile Dallas Cowboys in the hands of total slime-ball. Take stock of the ill-feelings you get every time NBC shows him sitting in his owner’s box.

It’s gonna feel so good to embarrass him in his own house.

Oh, and did you know he likes glory holes?

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Todd Gurley Rockin’ Phillies Gear

TMZ has a story about Rams running back Todd Gurley at a post-victory party last night with a “smokin’ hot girl.” The real story though is that Todd Gurley is sporting a Phillies lid.

The Phillies? The Sixers would be way more understandable. He’s from Baltimore and they haven’t had a team since the 1950’s. The Sixers are one of the younger more exciting teams in the NBA with Embiid and Simmons.

The Phillies? Maybe it’s his NL squad. I know plenty of Philadelphia folks with a fondness for the Orioles. Maybe it’s vice versa. Or, maybe it just went with the outfit that night.

Either way, well done Mr. Gurley.

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