South Philly Fashion Epidemic

The Philadelphia Eagles’ starting quarterback rocks sleeves as long as the franchise’s Super Bowl drought.

SamBradford

Meanwhile, a fashion epidemic in South Philly brews that is the complete antithesis of Sammy Sleeves. Oh, the irony.

No, it’s not cargo shorts.  Cargo shorts are rampant throughout the world. That’s a pandemic.

In Philly, South Philly in particular, more and more men are sporting MUSCLE SHIRTS.

I know what you’re thinking. They went out of style shortly after male half-shirts, with the exception of Kiko Alonso. But it’s true. In South Philly, muscle shirts are popping up in droves.

One of my favorite dudes on the planet is in his glory. He hasn’t worn sleeves in decades. He’s taking a fair amount of stone-breaking about it, but a recent anthropological study at Citizens Bank Park proves that he might be onto something.

During a recent Phillies blowout, we took a walk around Citizens Bank Park’s lower level. I wagered that I wouldn’t find two other people sporting a muscle-shirt. I couldn’t have been more wrong. They were everywhere. We even found ladies wearing muscle shirts.

Here’s visual proof of some of those we encountered, in case you remain incredulous as I did. [photos are listed below if you hate slideshows]

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Perhaps even more interesting, there are warring factions within the Muscle Shirt Community. Those, like my buddy, who cut the sleeves off their shirts have no respect for those who purchase sleeveless shirts. In his opinion, purchasing sleeveless jawns is “weak.” “You can’t go pre-fab, you gotta cut the sleeves yourself.”

I don’t get it. Supporters of these incomplete shirts claim that shirts with sleeves are too hot. I don’t buy it. I’ve rolled my sleeves up in the blazing sun and felt no relief. I understand wearing them at the gym or yoga. If you’re performing a lot of arm maneuvers, the lack of sleeves would make the movements easier to perform. Could it be that the sleeves hinder the are motions needed for drinking a beer?

And, most guys rocking them have no muscles. It’s possible that these guys think they’re called muscle shirts because they’ll give you muscles if you wear them, sort of like those magnets you wear that claim the same. If that’s true, then I totally get it. I can think of 4,892 things I’d rather do than hit the gym.

I spent this week travel through West Philly, Center City, and the Northeast and saw zero muscle shirts.

Hopefully, we can get a handle on this fashion outbreak before it spreads.

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