Rhys Hoskins is Also a Good Dude

Rhys Hoskins looks to be ready to take on Joel Embiid as the city’s favorite athlete. In addition to smashing home runs left and right, this happened today.

A guy named Andrew tweeted this picture of what I’m guessing is his son imitating Rhys and tagged Rhys in the tweet.

Later that day, at 4:14, Rhys Hoskins tweeted this back at Andrew.

Free tickets to bring the kid to the game tomorrow night! This guy is doing everything right.


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Phillies Usher Needs to Chill

Rhys Hoskins is on a home-run tear the likes of which Major League Baseball has never seen. Even he can’t help attendance at Citizens Bank Park these days.

Last night’s paid attendance (9/15) was announced as somewhere in the ballpark (pun intended) of 15,000. There couldn’t have been more than 8,000 people there. It was by far the smallest crowd I’ve seen in my fifteen years as a season ticket holder. The upper level was a total ghost town. The lower level wasn’t even half filled. This is a view from section in 111.

With the Phillies up 9-0 early, we decided to grab a beer and take a stroll around the park. We stopped behind section 120 when Rhys came up to bat. He drew a walk.

While watching Rhys, we witnessed an usher approach a younger couple, who were quietly watching the game, and ask them if they had tickets for the section. They didn’t and were asked to leave.

Here’s a photo of the section they were sitting it, as well as they over zealous usher.

The couple was seated in the third row from the back and were the ONLY people in the row.

That’s a total VIOLATION on this usher. And, it’s not the first time we’ve seen or wrote about this happening at CBP with a half-empty ballpark.

The couple wasn’t causing a scene. They weren’t cursing. They didn’t even have beers with them. Yet, this usher had to yield her power and kick them out of the section.

I get that seats in Section 120 aren’t cheap. But, the section is deserted. You can even see that the back rows of the next few sections are empty at a rate of like 90%.

Maybe they had standing room only tickets. Maybe they were from the upper level. Who cares? What’s the harm in allowing well-behaved people sit in seats that they may never be able to afford if they aren’t disturbing anyone and sitting in a seat that isn’t being used. This usher even looked proud of ridding Section 120 of these squatters.

I don’t get this at all. I would think the Phillies would rather have the lower level filled with fans because it would feel like a larger crowd instead of everyone dispersed around the ballpark.

I do get that it is difficult to have a litmus test of when you can and cannot allow people to sit in sections for which they do not have tickets. Here’s an idea. When you cut staff in half at kiosks and completely close down some food and beer kiosks like last night, let the ushers know to chill out with harassing fans about sitting in their proper seats.

The Phillies usually do right by customer service and ballpark experience. They need to tell the ushers to chill. No reason at all to eject this couple out of an empty row in a half-empty section. We’re aren’t being completely radical and asking to allow just anyone to sit with those important Diamond Club members, just a regular seat in a regular section.

Maybe the woman is afraid of losing her job if outsiders are found in her section. I don’t know any ushers to ask if this is a possibility. Do the Phillies run sting operations in an empty ballpark and send undercover operatives in to see if they can sit in sections where they don’t have tickets? I doubt it. If they do, then this is on the Phillies and not the usher, but I can tell you that we didn’t witness any other ushers checking tickets while people hopped around all night.


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Naked Philadelphians on Bikes: 2017 Edition (NSFW)

On Saturday hundreds of Philadelphians removed their clothes and hopped on their bikes of the annual Naked Bike Ride. I was lucky enough to be a Woolly Mammoth having a pint just as the crew made their way down South Street.

If case you missed it and want to see a bunch of naked Philadelphians on bikes or you just want to see them again, we got you covered with pictures and over 3 minutes of video.

The standout, of course, is the dude wearing only an Eagles replica helmet. Take a gander.


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Jim Schwartz Will Never Be Eagles Head Coach

photo: philadelphiaeagles.com

People don’t like Doug Pederson. Fans on social media and on sports talk radio relentlessly point out that the Eagles biggest weakness is Doug Pederson, even after beating division rivals, Washington, on the road. Even when he wins, Doug Pederson can’t win. Schwartz won that game according to large portion of Eagles fans.

Reports of Jim Schwartz lying in wait to usurp Doug as Eagles head coach hit the news wire the day before the game. And, on the day after a Schwartz-led defense blitzed the stuffing out of Kirk Cousins making the Washington offense look feeble, people are biding their time until Schwartz eventually takes over.

Don’t hold your breath.

Schwartz is not the kind of guy Lurie prefers running his team. While Schwartz’s personality is perfectly tailored for the Philly fanbase, he’s not a “gold standard” type of guy that appeals to Lurie. Schwartz is a loose cannon. He’s the kind of guy you don’t want to fight because he might have a box-cutter stashed in his socks.

Ray Rhodes, Lurie’s first head coach, was an intense guy who cussed at players, but his aggression and intensity seemed under control. Maybe Ray Rhodes called other players a MotherF*cker after an incomplete pass, but he wasn’t ever caught with all the cameras tracking NFL games. Schwartz was.

Then Andy Reid came along. He’s a Mormon, who doesn’t drink, curse, or fight. Lurie seemed much more comfortable with this relationship. Reid was intense on the field, but as large and loud as he might get, he was still a polite, peaceful Mormon.

Reid would never be heard yelling “LEARN THE F*CKING RULES” over the stadium PA system. Jim Schwartz was.

Chip Kelly was just a football nerd. His edge and intensity was in science, stats, innovation. I can’t imagine Chip ever needing to be held back from trying to start a fight with Jim Harbaugh or 49ers players after a game ended. Jim Schwartz did.

Schwartz is bonkers. He’s probably gonna have success with whatever teams makes him a head coach because guys like him learn from their mistakes of the past and usually perform better the second time around.

Would we love him here in Philly? ABSOLUTELY. Would Jeffrey Lurie love Schwartz in the spotlight as his head coach here in Philly? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

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Get a New Best Friend at SUPER LOVE ADOPTION DAY

Thinking of adopting a new best friend? Actively searching for a new best friend?

You’re in luck.

One of the largest adoption events in the area is happening this Saturday (September 9th) at the Schmidt’s Commons in Northern Liberties. This is a rain date for the same event that usually happens in May. Upwards of 30 dog rescues will be attending bringing a variety of adoptable dogs of all ages and breeds.

Seriously, this is one of the more fun events in the city if you’re an animal fan.

Dozens of vendors and organizations will also be on hand, in addition to the dog rescues.

The weather is going to be perfect. Bring your dog with you to chill with other mutts and like-minded people, even if you’re not in the market for a new buddy.

If you are looking to make your life a little happier with a new barking buddy, you must visit this event.

Super Love Adoption Day runs from 11 a.m – 4 p.m. For more details, click here.

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3 Reasons Why Nelson Agholor Will Have a Breakout Year

photo via: twitter.com/@nelsonagholor

I left Eagles training camp this year with one thing in mind. HOLY SH*T did Nelson Agholor look good. Like everyone else, I heard and read the reports of Nelson looking much improved at this year’s camp. I disregarded them because it’s practice. We’re talking about practice. But, then I saw it.

He looked at home in the slot. Agholor looked quick, not fast. He schooled Malcolm Jenkins, one of my favorite current players, again and again. Jenkins was frustrated, pushing Agholor and jarring in his face. Then, Agholor burned him again for a TD during a red zone drill.

The Eagles’ staff seemed convinced enough to trade Jordan Matthews and hand Agholor the slot receiver duties. So, what suddenly gives?

I think there are three reasons why Agholor is set for a breakout year.

1. Nelson went into this season without any legal worries. That’s a massive deal. He had terrible allegations placed upon him last summer with a police investigation ensuing. Yes, he was cleared of all charges by the time training camp started, that’s a major mental and emotional experience to overcome.

He also didn’t know if he’d be suspended by the league for the accusations.

This is super heavy stuff to deal with while dealing with a new coaching staff and learning a new system.

2. HE’S PLAYING THE SLOT. This is huuuuuuuge. Nelson was consensus late 1st round/early 2nd round pick. However, most scouts and draft reports projected him as a slot receiver, not on the outside as the Eagles have used him for the past 2 years.

From NFL.com:

Agholor’s best position could be working from the slot as a reliable possession receiver who can step right into the punt-returner job on Day 1.

From CBSSports.com:

In a deep wide receiver class, Agholor flew under the radar for most of the pre-draft process, and becomes the fourth pass-catcher to go in the first round. He’s drawn comparisons to former teammate Marqise Lee, whom the Jaguars ended up taking in the second round of the 2014 NFL Draft. At 6-0, 198, Agholor has deceptive speed (4.42 40-time), and he can come in and play the slot immediately.

From NFLBreakdowns.com:

Experienced route runner displaying good footwork when running double moves and complex routes

Adept at finding holes in underneath coverage especially from the slot position

Displays consistent awareness in working back to the quarterback

3. He’s wearing number 13. This may not seem like a big deal, but #17 in Philadelphia is a big deal. The number should be retired and Harold Carmichael should be in the hall of fame. Carmichael is a figure that is often around the NovaCare complex as a team ambassador. That’s a burden for a young wide receiver to carry, but not so much for an established player like Alshon Jeffrey.

There you go. 2017 should be Agholor’s year. I’m in. I have Nelson on two fantasy teams hoping I can start him by week 3.

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Podcast Episode 21: F**K New York, Psychics, Game of Thrones Hair, and More.

What’s Kitty Glitter? NY sucks! A love letter to Nabisco. F**k, Marry Kill with Nicole’s mom. How does Daenerys from Game of Thrones curl her hair? K-Mart was a visionary shopping experience. Bad underwear. Psychics and more in the latest podcast.

It’s the podcast your mom warned you about.

Quote of the Podcast: “I’m getting your bagels and your cream cheese and you F**k right off!”

Hit the train, car or elliptical and listen. However, if you don’t have a sense of humor it’s probably not for you.


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Around Jawnville: South Philly Target Goes Beavers

The South Philly target is fully stocked on Phillies and Eagles gear and it’s right at the entrance hitting ya in the face as soon as you enter.

Shockingly, there isn’t any Sixers or Flyers gear at this impulse aisle of team fandom. Wait, if you look closely at the first photo above, there appears to be an orange Flyers shirt.

I went in for a closer inspection.


Not Flyers.

Stupid me. Why would I expect Flyers gear instead of OREGON STATE BEAVERS merch at the South Philly Target?

What the hell is going on? This makes no sense. Syracuse I would get. There’s a large contingency of Philly kids attending Cuse.

Are there South Philly kids playing on the Beavers football or basketball teams that I don’t know about? Is Target catering to the community of South Philly hipsters knowing that Oregon is mecca for hipsters?

Then, I noticed another flash of orange in my peripheral view. Flyers gear? Nah. A lone ORIOLES HAT (?!).

Who is doing the buying for this South Philly store? If they love orange and want orange just go Flyers.

If anyone knows why South Philly Target is expecting a run on Oregon State Beavers merchandise hit me up on twitter @ViolationsGreg and give me a heads up. This is bizarre. Does your local Target have random west coast university swag?

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Rhys Hoskins is NOT Dom Brown

Stop it. Stop it. STOP IT! Stop clinging to the failures of Dom Brown and waiting for Rhys Hoskins to fall off into obscurity in a blaze of non-glory like Brown.

If you can’t tell that Hoskins is not Dom Brown, we are here to help. Rhys Hoskins has 76 Plate appearances as of this morning. In Dom Brown’s first stint with the Phillies in 2010, he had 70 total plate appearance. Close enough for comparison purposes.

Let’s look at some stats.

Rhys Hoskins: .297
Dom Brown: .210

On Base Percentage:
Hoskins: .408
Brown: .257

Hoskins: 11
Brown: 5

Hoskins: 1.236
Brown: .612

First Pitch Swinging:
Hoskins: 14.5%
Brown: 22.9%

After an 0-2 Count:
Hoskins: .278
Brown: .150

Contact Percentage:
Hoskins: 85.4%
Brown: 69.3%

3-0 Counts Seen (as a % of PA):
Hoskins: 7.9%
Brown: 4.3%

Base on Balls Percentage of PA:
Hoskins: 14.5%
Brown: 7.1%

Strike Out Percentage of PA:
Hoskins: 17.1%
Brown: 34.3%

That should be enough at this point. Hoskins have a drastically different, more patient approach at the plate. Hoskins sees almost twice as many 3-0 counts, walks at twice the rate, strikes out at HALF the rate, and makes far more contact than Brown in his first 70 plate appearances.

Hoskins will eventually hit re-entry and level off, but it’s easy to see he’s a more patient and smarter batter than Dom Brown. Hoskins’ hands look quicker and his approach to his at-bats looks advanced for someone this early in their MLB career. Even in Dom Brown’s All-Star fluke season he struck out at a higher percentage (18%) and walked less (7.2%) than Hoskins first 76 plate appearances.

The eyes and the stats don’t like. Rhys Hoskins in not Dom Brown. Enjoy the kid and the run he’s having.

And, the kid is from Sacramento, California so he’s probably not a Dallas Cowboys fan.

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A Day in Jawnville: Marlins Stiffing Autograph Seekers

As I ran for cover during last night’s epic thunderstorm, I stumbled onto the Marlins team bus arriving at their hotel a little past midnight.

Giancarlo Stanton, Christian Yelich, and the rest of the Marlins gave a cold shoulder to the 5 autograph seekers brave enough to venture out in the monsoon.

Here’s some video.

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