Eagles Fans Waited 18,648 Days to Get In

Ever wait in line on a cold Saturday night hoping you’ll get into Hop Sing Laundromat? Maybe you tried to grab a drink at the Ranstead Room and had to put your name on a list, but never received a call that they were ready for you. Turned away from the Palizzi Social Club because you didn’t have a membership and they weren’t taking any new members? Did I see you getting turned away from the Pen & Pencil at 2:50 a.m. because you weren’t a member and didn’t work in the service industry?

Those are all great Philly institutions, but the reality is that the waiting sucks. The rejection sucks.

Eagles fans, we have basically been waiting 51 years behind the velvet ropes on a blustery winter night, toes frozen, buzz-wearing off, watching cool kid after cool kid enter the hottest club in all of North America. The Super Bowl Club opened its doors on January  15, 1967 and we’ve stood line with grit and determination ever since.

We’ve been close. We’ve been next on the list, front of the line. For one reason or another the football gods bouncing the door or holding the guest list never let us in. Someone always trumped us.

An outcast camaraderie flourished outside the club. The kind of kinship one forms with others while waiting to argue a parking ticket or survive jury duty. We related to the uncool kids from Detroit, Jacksonville, Cincinnati, Cleveland, St. Louis, San Diego, Atlanta, Carolina, Texas, Nashville, and even those whiny folks from Minnesota, but we couldn’t wait to leave them. To hear our name called.

On Sunday February 4th, 2018, Philadelphia Eagles fans’ 18,648-day wait ended. The football gods called our names. We are in the Super Bowl Club.

Sometimes after you wait for entrance into those swanky clubs the place will be a dud, half-empty and of poor quality. It’s not the case with Ranstead, Hop Sing, Palizzi Social Club, and PNP. (well, sometimes PNP) And, it’s not the case with the Super Bowl Club.

It is F*CKING AMAZING. It’s as good as we thought while waiting to get it. Hell, it’s even be better, just don’t tell that to the Browns fans.

Philly is in the Club. We are at the cool kids table. And there ain’t no one that can kick us out no matter how rowdy we get. We are forever in the Super Bowl Club.

*(ahem….Palizzi and P&P, I’m still waiting for my memberships)

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TOOLBAG ALERT: Terracotta Thumb Thief

Who the hell has the impulse to break a thumb off a 2,000-year-old statue on loan from China worth over $4m? I’ll tell you, 24 year-old Michael Rohana of Bear, Delaware.

The 10 terracotta statues on loan to the Franklin Institute from China’s Shaanxi Cultural Heritage Promotion Centre are part of a collection of 8,000 life-size clay warriors discovered in 1974.

Rohana was attending an ugly-sweater Holiday party just before Christmas. Apparently, he entered the Terracotta Warrior display room through an unlocked door, took a selfie with one of the statues, and then broke a thumb off the statue and placed it into his pocket. Authorities found the thumb in this toolbag’s desk drawer.

Understandably, the Chinese government is upset and wants a harsh punishment against Rohana.

This is not want Philly needs, especially after the overblown Minnesota Vikings fan incident. The national reputation of Philadelphians is one of cheering injuries of opposing teams’ players, assaulting visiting fans of other teams, throwing batteries, etc. We’ve all heard it. The last thing we needed to add was desecrating a 2,000-year-old jawn on loan from a foreign country, but that happened. We get a bad rap because of a few knuckleheads. Add Rohana to that list.

Make no mistake. The rest of the country and the world is paying attention. Here is a collection of stories about this bonehead’s maneuver: USA Today, Washington Post, CNN, NBC, New York Times, BBC, The Guardian, Huff Post. The list could go on and on and on.

As is often the case with people causing a ruckus in Philly that goes viral, Rohana is not from Philly, but was visiting from Bear, DE. I hope he’s happy. He’s helping to tarnish the name of Philadelphians AND to ugly-sweater wearers everywhere.

Ugly-sweater partiers can’t be trusted. They are a bunch of narcissistic Millennials worried about selfies without any appreciation of history or art. I’m not saying that, but people will.

This Rohana guy should be banned from entering Philadelphia and cultural institutions across the globe. Maybe send him to China to be sentenced.

Let’s not forget about the Franklin Institute’s involvement in all of this. If someone loans you something worth $4.3m you do your darndest to make sure that something is safe and secure. The toolbag is alleged to have entered through an unlocked door. AN UNLOCKED DOOR?!

They can’t be serious. The Franklin Institutes rents out space for an Ugly-Sweater Party and they don’t lock down everything valuable in the building? Anyone who has ever thrown a party in high school, college, or adulthood knows to party-proof the premises from spills, breakages, and theft.

TOTAL VIOLATION on the Franklin Institute here as well. They should have known better.

Thanks Michael Rohana and the Franklin Institute for helping to contribute to the undeserved and notorious reputation that often plagues Philly and Philadelphians.

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Philly to Yuengling: NO THANK YOU.

If you haven’t heard, D.G. Yuengling & Son Inc. recently filed a trademark application for the term “Philly Special.” As reported by Philly.com:

D.G. Yuengling & Son Inc. recently filed a trademark application for “Philly Special.” The company is considering applying the phrase to one of its existing beers — such as Yuengling Lager — in the Philadelphia region, or perhaps using it for a new beer altogether.

Two words for the Yuengling brewery: F*CK OFF. There is absolutely nothing Philly about Yuengling or it’s mediocre, corn-sweetened “lager.” Philly is a burgeoning, cosmopolitan city. Yuengling lager is more of a Scranton or Sacramento style, nothing against those towns. They just aren’t Philly.

Philly is a union town, sometimes to a fault, and Yuengling has been reported to support union-busting and the right-to-work movement.

Yuengling is in Pottsville. Driving distance (according to Google Maps) from Philly’s City Hall to the Pottsville brewery is 96.4 miles. NINETY-SIX MILES. You know what’s closer?

New York City – 93.9 miles to Holland Tunnel
Scranton – 95.94 miles
Newark, NJ – 87.9 miles
Brooklyn – 97 miles Brooklyn Bridge
Jim Thorpe, PA – 82 miles
Hoboken, NJ – 94 miles
Princeton, NJ -42 miles

Yuengling is about as Philly as Princeton, University. Some people in Philly drink Yuengling and some people from Philly go to Princeton. That’s where the connection ends.

This is a total cash grab hoping to exploit the success of the Philadelphia Eagles, and the gutsy play-call of Foles and Pederson to line the pockets of a billion dollar company pretty much as far away from Philly as New York City.

Yuengling Marketing Director Tyler Simpson tried to sugar-coat it in the Philly.com piece:

“The past few weeks have been so exciting for Philadelphia fans everywhere,” Yuengling’s marketing director, Tyler Simpson, said in a statement. “We thought there might be something fun we could do for loyal Yuengling drinkers in the Philadelphia region.”

There is something they can do for loyal Yuengling drinkers in the Philly region: improve their products.

This quote is priceless:

“This Philly Special idea would be for our loyal Yuengling and Philadelphia fans,” Simpson said, noting that the company’s logo and packaging has always included an eagle. (via Philly.com)

Oh, that settles it. Their packaging has always included an eagle. Of course their packaging has an eagle. They used to be Eagle Brewery in the 1800’s. Don’t pander to Eagles fans. The Yuengling packaging and beer has nothing to do with the Philadelphia Eagles. .

If Mr. Simpson wants to start tossing around credentials such as “packaging has always included an eagle” he might want to defer to Miller Lite or Bud Light, who have always supported the Eagles. As far as I know, Yuengling does not advertise with or sponsor the Eagles. Miller Lite has the Flight Deck at Lincoln Financial Field and offered discounted ride-sharing codes to the parade. Bud Light seriously stepped up with free beers for the parade and the entire Dilly-Dilly, Philly-Philly campaign complete with sky-writing jets writing “PHILLY-PHILLY” in the skies over the parade.

In my humble opinion, a Philly Special beer should be brewed by Yards or the Philadelphia Brewing Company. They’re both Philly-based, brewed, and operated. However, I can respect the companies that have always been there supporting the Eagles and the effort Bud Light did in embracing the Super Bowl Champs.

“We’re still exploring options and would love to hear what the fans think a Philly Special could be,” Simpson said. “We want to have fun with it and may have our Philadelphia fans vote for their favorite idea.” (via Philly.com)

Here’s an idea. Withdraw your trademark application and leave it for beer companies in Philly or that have supported the Eagles instead of hopping on the bandwagon.

Yuengling doesn’t deserve a “Philly Special” trademark because there’s absolutely nothing Philly or special about them.


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Refs Missed Amendola Fumble & Eagles Still Won

The New England Patriots took their first and only lead in Super Bowl LII with about 11 minutes left in the 4th Quarter. The lead didn’t last long, as we all know by now. However, the Patriots should’ve never gotten the lead. As I watched highlights last night via Turning Point, I noticed that Danny Amendola fumbled on the 27-yard line during that drive as Rodney McLeod ripped the ball from him and the Eagles recovered. The problem was that the refs blew the play dead once Amendola hit the ground and NBC never showed a replay from the angle that made the fumble visible.

Here is the play. Listen for the whistle. They aren’t blown until Amendola clearly hits the ground.

Here are the stills that clearly show the ball coming out before Amendola hit the ground, which means before the whistle, as we saw in the video above.

Mychal Kendricks obviously makes a clear recovery of the ball.

It should have been Eagles ball on the 27-yard line. Jalen Mills pleaded the case with the Back Judge, but he wasn’t having it even though he had the perfect angle to see the fumble. Imagine that.

Feels even better beating the Patriots knowing the refs helped them score and briefly go ahead. F*ck the Patriots and the refs.

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Boston Goes Eagles

Just when the week couldn’t get any better, we get a photo of the crew up at Cheers Boston fulfilling part of their bet with O’Neals Irish Pub in Philly by wearing Eagles gear for the day. They suddenly look way cooler.

The folks at Cheers also shipped down the lobsters they promised.

If you ever have the unfortunate luck of having to go to Boston, stop by and grab a pint with the good sports up at Cheers Boston.


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Dear Eagles: All I Can Say is Thank You

Jawnville has been quiet, unlike many parts of the city. To be honest, I haven’t been able to focus on much except for reliving Sunday’s Super Bowl. I’ve watched the game multiple times since the final whistle. I have re-watched the games against the Vikings and Falcons on the NFL Network. I’ve been glued to instagram and twitter watching posts and videos from an endearing group of unselfish players celebrating.

I can’t formulate enough thoughts to put together any substantial pieces for the site. The Eagles Super Bowl victory has actually rendered me speechless.

All I can say is THANK YOU. Thank you Jeffrey Lurie, Doug Pederson, Howie Roseman, Nick Foles, and the rest of the highly likeable 2017-18 Philadelphia Eagles for finally ridding Eagles fans of these demons:

-Jim Stinkin’ Plunkett

-Marion Campbell

-Fog Bowl

-Reggie White leaving in free agency

-Jerome Brown dying

-Joe Jerevicius & Ronde Barber

-Ricky Manning, Jr

-Tommy Hutton’s bobble

-Chip Kelly

-Bubby Brister

-Ty and Koy Detmer

-Bobby Hoying

-Rodney Peete

-Mike McMahon

-Ken O’Brien

-Brad Goebel

-Jeff Kemp

-Mark Sanchez

-Kevin Kolb.

-Rich Kotite

-Marcus Smith

-Danny Watkins

-Michael Haddix

-Jon Harris

-Jerome McDougle

-Kevin Allen

-Mike Mamula

-Shawn Andrews

-The Dream Team of Asomugha and Young

-Ron Solt

-Thrash and Pinkston

-Being the only team in the NFC east without a ring

-Super Bowl puking


-The man in France

-Defensive Coordinator Juan Castillo

-T.O. doing push-ups in his driveway

-and the many I’ve forgotten.

It hasn’t always been the easiest road being a Philadelphia Eagles fan, but we don’t really have a choice. We’re born into and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thank you for making all those bumps in the road worth it. They made Super Bowl LII’s victory all that sweeter for a loyal fan base that’s been through a heck of a lot.

Thank you 2017-2018 Eagles for giving us Eagles fans one of the greatest moments in our lives.



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Even the babies are ready. #flyeaglesfly #jawnville #eagles

Even the babies are ready. #flyeaglesfly #jawnville #eagles

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AROUND JAWNVILLE: #philly #jawnville #Modells

AROUND JAWNVILLE: #philly #jawnville #Modells

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Mayor Kenney Promised to Stand on My Car If Eagles Win

Back in 2015, mayoral candidate Jim Kenney called into the Jawnville Podcast and talked about the time he stood a car to celebrate the Flyers winning a Stanley Cup. I then asked him if he would agree to stand on my 2004 Honda Element should the Eagles win a Super Bowl during his tenure as mayor. As you can hear below….he agreed.

Gotta find a way to keep the Mayor to his campaign promise should the Eagles be victorious Sunday night.

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Around #jawnville #philly #flyeaglesfly #southphilly

Around #jawnville #philly #flyeaglesfly #southphilly

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