Most Annoying Fan Bases in Philadelphia

Which are the most annoying fan bases in Philadelphia according to my empirical study? Take a guess without reading any further. I’m certain we’ll agree on some. However, you may find yourself a member of one of these groups. It’s quite possible. I hate slideshows, so I’m starting at the 10th most annoying and working toward the fan base that drives me absolutely bonkers.

There is a fair amount of field research put into developing this list. I doubt you’ll find anyone who has watched more sporting events out in local pubs over the past few years than me. I’ve seen these fans solo and in large, loud groups where they enjoy safety in numbers. I’m like the Jane Goodall of Philadelphia area fan bases. I begrudgingly sat in the field (pubs) quietly observing and making notes while sipping local brews.

phillysoul10. PHILADELPHIA SOUL FANS. I’m sorry, Jaws. This pains me to write it because I loved you as the Eagles QB, the Polish Rifle! However, there’s only one professional football team in town and that’s enough. The fans, few and far between, insist on telling you how great the game is and who could be a star in the NFL. The Soul fans that I run into would have you believe that there’s a Kurt Warner or Lincoln Kennedy on every squad. There isn’t and nobody cares. Don’t tell me you haven’t met the guy who reminds you we have a championship football team in town, referring to the Soul. SHUT UP! Throw the Soul shirt out and get an Eagles shirt. Don’t donate the Soul shirt because no homeless, poor, or hipster should be caught alive in that gear.

metslogo9. NEW YORK METS FANS. Total JO’s…jerk-offs. They come to Citizens Bank Park and they’re obnoxious. They live in the shadows of the Yankees so that have to prove to the baseball world that they’re legit. They aren’t. The travelling Mets fans are bullies…loud and obnoxious until they’re down a run. The absolute worst trait of Mets fans is their ridiculous belief that Mr. Met is comparable to or even better than the Phillies Phanatic. It’s a baseball wearing a suit and the it’s one of the all-time worst mascots. He’s a joke, just like the contract that is still paying Bonilla.

notredamelogo8. NOTRE DAME FANS. These fans are like an epidemic. They are everywhere due to the Irish theme and the NBC TV deal. A boisterous majority of Notre Dame football fans seem to be fans simply because they’re Irish. They don’t watch college football, unless it’s Notre Dame. They talk like ND is among the likes of Alabama even though they haven’t won a National Championship in more than a quarter century. Most Notre Dame fans I see wearing the colors couldn’t name a player from that 1988 team aside from Rocket Ishmail. In fact, most can’t name many greats after Knute Rockne, Rocket, and Joe Montana.  Oh, they also love the movie Rudy, which sucks.

villanova7. VILLANOVA BASKETBALL FANS. Ever been to a Nova hoops game at the Wells Fargo Center? First of all, the Wildcats were a top 10 team for most of last season. Do these fans come out to support their squad? Not really. I saw a Syracuse game there last season and the place was at least half orange. I even saw orange in the student section. The crowd feels like a Dockers commercial with no one paying attention to the first 30 minutes of the game. Instead, they converse and network. It’s like a casual-Friday at the office with a game going on in the background. They cheer more for the “Dancing Guy” who dances on the jumbotron during commercial breaks, than they do for dunks, blocks, or 3-pointers.

flyers logo6. FLYERS ONLY FANS. Don’t act like you don’t know these types. They wear the fact that they are Flyers-only fans like a badge of honor. In their minds, every other game is just trivial and childish. They’re of the mentality that hockey is the “real man’s” sport and everything else is for pussies. They are almost like Notre Dame fans in the fact that they aren’t really fans of any other teams or hockey in general, just the Flyers. They differ because these Flyers-only fans know their Flyers history. This group acts like you can’t be a real Flyers fan and like any other teams/sports in town. They’ll patronize you because, obviously, there’s no way you can be more insightful or knowledgable than them because you are distracted watching other sports.

Pittsburgh_Penguins logo5. PITTSBURGH PENGUINS FANS. Scratch my back with a hacksaw!  That’s a line from former Penguins announcer Mike Lange. Penguins fans love it and countless other senseless lines. They regurgitate these ridiculous lines over and over. He’s smiling like a butcher’s dog is another. That’s just the beginning of their annoyance. This fan base doesn’t understand that hockey has bodily contact. They’ve never seen a Penguin commit an actual penalty. Every penalty is a bad call. It’s almost as if whiner Crosby took on the fans’ persona. They don’t support their team until it’s Stanley Cup time and then they act like they’ve been there for years.

penn-state-university4. PENN STATE UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL FANS.  I think these fans are oblivious to the fact that PSU hasn’t won a Championship since the 80’s, even though the University is in one of the best states for recruiting….THE 80S! The team is routinely overrated in the polls for some reason. They play one of the weakest non-conference schedules you’ll find in any big-time program (Akron, Appalachian State, Buffalo, Georgia State, Temple, etc.). Yet, these fans talk about their football program as if they’ve won 3 of the last 4 SEC Championships. This group loves to talk about the integrity of the PSU program and lack of “football” scandals. These fans rioted when Joe Paterno was removed as Head Coach of the football team. They denied Sandusky’s behavior until that became impossible. They go off about the PSU graduation rates. Yeah, great. PSU is ranked like 7th in graduation rates. We all get it. I hear more about PSU graduation rates than I do Duke grad rates from the annoying Duke fans in the area. (For the record, Duke fans came in at 11 in this study.) Newsflash: Duke wins Championships. PSU is tied with Rutgers in grad rates in the most recent poll I found. You know what these schools have in common? Neither have been close to winning a title in decades. Lose the smug, elitist attitude! I wanna cheer for a big-time football program from the state, but these fans make it nearly impossible to support the Nittany Lions. Mark down September 26th and visit some sports bars where PSU fans congregate. I guarantee you’ll hear a plethora of WE ARE–PENN STATE cheers as they beat up on San Diego State.

dallas cowboys3. DALLAS COWBOYS FANS. These people are a special breed. They are like the OG of trolls in the Philadelphia metropolitan area. They are the unloved. They’re loners. That’s why they are #3 and not #1. I kind of feel sorry for them. They feed off negative attention. I’d call Cowboys fan front-runners, but that’s not the truth any longer because the Cowboys haven’t won anything recently. Yet, they loudly spout off about how the Eagles haven’t won a Super Bowl while it’s been 20 years since the Cowboys last won. That doesn’t phase them. They’re loud. They’re arrogant. They have no connection to the Cowboys other than they were winners that were always on TV (oldheads) or they know it irritates Eagles fans (youngins). Both suck!

yankees logo2. NEW YORK YANKEES FANS. I feel lame double-dipping on another New York baseball team, but there’s no way to avoid it. This group of fans just ask to be ripped on. We all see way too many Yankees hats in Philadelphia. You know it. These people are like lawyers. You never have to ask a lawyer what he/she does for a living, they’ll tell you. Same goes for Yankees fans. They love to work it into conversations. If you’re a fan of any other franchise, that’s “cute” in their eyes. Like Notre Dame fans, a lot of Yankees fans became fans because of their nationality. In this case, it’s Italian instead of Irish. The Yankees had DiMaggio, Berra, Rizzuto, Peppitone and others. Come on! This is a bullshit reason. Who is a Dodgers or Mets fan because of Mike Piazza? Nobody. If you give me that your grandfather was a Yankees fan, I also call bullshit. You know what my grandfather was a fan of? He liked drunk-driving and holding a grudge against the Japanese for Pearl Harbor. I don’t do either. No excuse. The Yankees are the winningest franchise and that’s why people are fans.

1. BILLbillyjoelY JOEL FANS. You may be thinking to yourself, Billy Joel fans? If that’s so, then you aren’t spending much time in bars with those downloadable jukeboxes. His fans live in a world where they can’t imagine someone wouldn’t want to hear Billy Joel songs while drinking some beers. That’s right, I said songs. Plural! They don’t simply play a song, they play blocks of Billy Joel. AND, they love singing along, especially Piano Man. Here’s a tip: Never Play Multiple Songs of the Same Artist at a Bar, ESPECIALLY BILLY JOEL. Joel is a New Yorker, but I think we owe the Philly love to Ed Sciaky. Ed was a great local DJ who helped break the likes of Springsteen, Yes, and…you got it, Billy Joel. He’s got a damn banner at the Wells Fargo Center. I know that Springsteen and the Grateful Dead also have banners, but they didn’t write horrible songs like: Uptown Girl, It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me, and Allentown. He’s gotta be one of the most played artists on jukeboxes throughout town. The god-awful Scenes From an Italian Restaurant is a pub favorite & seven minutes of audio-torture. I hear this horrible song once a week while hopping around town. Yes, these fans dominate jukeboxes with more fervor that Dave Matthews Band fans, who came in 12th in this study. Yo Billy Joel Fans…play that crap in your house and quit it with the double-shots of bad singles on the jukeboxes. Nobody wants to hear Downeaster Alexa or Captain Jack while trying to enjoy a cocktail or beer. That’s why we are drinking, to escape such shite!